I hear my call. I understand that there is a great plan for my life. I want to execute now, have answers now, get your reward now. But, I am being asked to wait. For how long, I don't know.
I expected to be afraid of the leap, but it is the standing still that has caused so much panic. While others seem to speed by, I progress at a snail's pace, or, even worse, not at all. Doubt begins its steady creep into my mind and fears of insignificance attempt to make themselves comfortable.
What if I am not called?
What if this is a mistake?
Am I not good enough?
Did God forget about me?
Are they right?
Have I failed before I started?
Dear God, I come to you with the sword of truth ready to slay the spirit of doubt. When you declare a promise, you come through. You are not a man like me. I lie. You speak life. I can hold fast to your word when the anxieties of the wait rise up.
You have not forgotten me. You are just allowing the fullness of your work to be finished.
I pray James 1:2-4, when I lose patience.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds
because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.
I pray Hebrews 10:35-36 when my confidence wains.
So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord.
Remember the great reward it brings you!
Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will.
Then you will receive all that he has promised.
I pray Isaiah 58:11, when I feel like I can't go another step.
The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring.
And, I pray Psalms 119:114-117, when the attacks come.
You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.
Get out of my life, you evil-minded people, for I intend to obey the commands of my God.
Lord, sustain me as you promised, that I may live! Do not let my hope be crushed.
Sustain me, and I will be rescued; then I will meditate continually on your decrees.
I pray these scriptures so that I may feel peace as I stand.
The wait is as important as the push. Send your angels to watch over my heart, so I do not lose hope. Send your holy spirit to whisper words of encouragement, so I do not get weary. Send your living word to impart wisdom, so I don't stray.
This too shall pass. The answers will come. The path will be made clear. Until then, I will seek you and wait.