I realize now that the further I step away from the safety of the boat, the fewer people will be walking with me.
That is not a judgment of them or their faith, Peter was the one who walked on the water, but the others 11 still had faith. It is a realization that it is not anyone else's job but my own to build and maintain my faith.
I have to be ok when others drop off or I will allow a crack for bitterness and resentment to seep into while I am not looking. I have to remain open when coming to the end or another person's energy, time, money, attention, or support. It is grace for their day that is renewed every morning, not mine. I am receiving from them out of the goodness of their heart, not the certainty or my entitlement. They owe me nothing. Relationships built on this misunderstanding are doomed to fail.
I have to be strong enough to walk alone but still be able to acknowledge my weakness and accept help. Not depending on that help, mind you, but greeting it with a sense of gratitude and, simultaneously, an understanding that all things shall pass.
So I walk alone fixing my eyes on God and blissfully bringing in and releasing those who will be a part of this story.
This walk is mine. But I am happy to greet you and good with saying goodbye.